There are some who are going to think this is an awful post but this isn't so much about me as it is about bragging on my God.
When I found out I was pregnant with Malachi, I wasn't excited. Then Daniel started a new job where he was gone Monday-Friday, sometimes working Saturdays and I REALLY wasn't excited. I was basically raising 5 children on my own and I was already overwhelmed. I didn't get married and have children to do it all by myself. Add into that a "new" house that needed to be unpacked while I wasn't allowed to lift anything and trying to train and discipline 5 children . . . well, all I could see was another thing to do with a newborn. Breastfeeding is time consuming. Getting up in the middle of the night for feedings is exhausting, especially when you are driving children to and from school 3 times a day, including half day kindergarten.
I did NOT want this baby. At all. Sure, I knew I would love this baby but I was completely unable to see any joy forthcoming with his arrival. I already felt like I was drowning. How was I going to add a newborn to the mix?
The pregnancy was really difficult. I don't know if is because my body was just coming off a twin pregnancy or if it was because I'm getting older or because it was my 5th pregnancy or just a combination of all those things but it was the hardest singleton pregnancy ever. Falling flat on my abdomen during my ninth month while taking out the trash in the rain didn't help. Neither did the fact that my husband was 7 hours away when it happened. How in the world was I going to do this?
Then it came time to give birth.
With all my previous children, I have requested they be cleaned up a bit before they are given to me immediately following birth. For some reason, I didn't even think about this with Malachi. So upon his arrival they sat him on my chest. I'm so grateful I forgot.
I was in love. This screaming, icky, squirming, slimy little thing was mine and he needed me and it was wonderful.
Since his birth, he has brought inexpressible joy to our home. We NEEDED this baby. I NEEDED this baby. He is so happy. He is delightful. He is well loved. And God is good.
Since he has been born, Daniel's work schedule has changed and he is home more. I have more help with the children and I did need that. But even if he were still on that horrible, crummy schedule, I would still be grateful for God's foresight in giving us Malachi. He is a fabulous nurser. He is a good sleeper. He is content to watch the older children running around the house like idiots. I'll check on him in his play seat and he'll have dosed off only to check on him a few minutes later and he'll be happily watching all the activity again. He has enriched our lives so much and I can't imagine our lives now without him. The only word I can use to describe Malachi is "happy".
The only word I can think of to describe Malachi's Mommy is grateful. I'm grateful for Malachi. I'm grateful for a God who knows what we need before we have even considered it. I'm grateful for unexpected blessings at unexpected times.